Sunday, December 03, 2017

Why Sun?

You pushed away the sky so hard
With all your hatred
Your anger
Your insecurities
Slayed it's beauty til it's lost its charm

You succeeded
The sky is never coming back

Wednesday, June 07, 2017

My Happy Place

That happy place

Is when I'm with you

In your arms

Looking at you

Looking at me

That happy place 

Is when I'm comforted by your presence

Where I can feel every bit of you

Even when we're not touching

That happy place

Is when I smell you

When our breaths meet

When we soak in each other's scent

That happy place

Is when you talk

All I can do is listen

And hear every melody in your tone

That happy place 

Is when I have you 

In my heart

And I know I am in yours

That happy place

Is in our other reality 

When I can have you

A 100%

I Need You

I need you

And I can only cry silently about the emptiness I feel in my heart, my soul

My mind is in pain

From memories of your hands holding me, touching me, loving me

From your gaze that reaches into my soul

From your tenderness in everything that you do for me

My heart aches

From not having you in it 

My heart cries

For yours

I need you

So badly

But I can't 

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Beauty is skin deep

"A girl may not have the best facial features but when her skin is flawless, she's beautiful."

That was my Mama's advice to me back then when I was a teenager. At thirteen, I remember my skin breaking out with pimples on my forehead. She gave me all of these products ie cleanser, toner and moisturizer for me to apply to my skin day and night. Being a lil Mama's girl, I listened to her and I'm very glad I did. It became a routine, that I implemented into my lifestyle. No matter what, I always cleansed my skin and religiously slathered my face with moisturizer and any beauty products that was supposedly good for my skin. Of course, the pimples disappeared and my skin was back to my normal after the teenage hormones settled down. Lol! But I still took care of my skin!

When I got to my twenties, I maintained the ritual of taking care of my skin. Except this time I had added eye cream, masks, anti-wrinkle/aging, sunscreens into my vast collection of skincare products. Hey, prevention is better than cure right? :P

In my mid twenties, I realized that I had to start eating right because facial beauty products can only do so much. I started buying organic foods, eating more and more vegetables and drinking at least 2 liters of water a day.

With the busy lifestyle of being in the entertainment industry, there are days when my skin can get pretty stressed with all the make-up, long hours and strong lighting that I have to endure. It makes it a little bit harder to maintain good skin but I do it relentlessly anyway. And it paid off! Thank goodness. Alhamdulillah.

I start with a good cleanser. I cleanse my face first thing in the morning, and night time before I go to bed. Of course, on days that I have shoots, I will cleanse my face after the shoot. Best to stay away from heavy make-up.

Right after cleansing, I apply toner. This goes on before anything else ie moisturizer, serum, eye gel etc

Like I mentioned earlier on, prevention is better than cure. Its never too early to start making sure your skin doesn't sag down to your chest.

My beloved moisturizer. I'm blessed with dry skin hence why I use moisturizers for dry skin.

I never ever leave out the eye gel/cream. The skin around the eye is the most sensitive hence why you should always take care of it. Eyes are the windows to the soul after all :)

This is essential for everyone. I cannot stress how important it is to protect your skin with sunscreen. I love this particular one especially as it has "skin tone' base on it. On days when I'm not required to wear make up, this is perfect. Its better than having to put on foundation or powder on your face.

This has got to be my favourite product from our Felicity skincare range. The exfoliating face scrub. It smells wonderful, and it scrubs away all those nasty dirt from your face, leaving your skin as smooth as a baby's bottom. I'm in love with this product!

Mama came up with these products a few years ago. My family has always been fans of organic products, making sure that we stay as natural as possible. We have a whole range of other products of course. If you're interested, you can check them out at

Here's to an organic life to us!

Thank you Mama, for the awesome advice!

Organically yours,


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Okay okaayyy... I know I should be punished for not blogging as often as I should. Each time I am doing something, or something funny/crazy/interesting happens, I think to myself "Man, I should so blog about this." But of course, when the time finally comes for me to blog (in other words, I have finally parked myself in front of my laptop), I have forgotten all those interesting experiences and I am not sure where to start.

Imaan and Tiara are now nine and a half months old. How time flies! I keep saying that but its true. They both can crawl and are able to pull themselves up to a standing position by holding on to a stable object/furniture. I suspect they'll be walking very soon. Wow! Imagine that? Chasing after two lil munchkins I will be (why do I suddenly sound like Yoda??). They both also have a lot to say, often babbling nonstop with their cute little voices.

I finally accepted my first acting gig, after deciding that the girls are old enough and that I was ready enough to be away from them for longer times. We shot "Sopi Sekuriti" in January and the comedy series will be aired on Astro Warna starting this February 28th 2012. It was under Skop Production and yes, this was my first time working with them. It was a great experience! The thing with shooting comedies, be it a film, TV drama or series, is that the energy on set is lighthearted and fun. So I had a grand time. The lead man for the series is one of the Raja Lawak finalists known as "Man Raja Lawak". I was very impressed by his dedication and commitment. He gave his best and was at a 100% everytime, even when he had been shooting for over 10 hours. I salute him and I wish him all the best, and may his career in the entertainment industry take off like a rocket!

Many things are happening right now for me, one of them being something to do with fashion. Fashion.. ahh yes... finally I am realizing one of my dreams and passion. I can't wait to share with all of you but everything is still in the early stages. A few more weeks and it will be launched, and word will be out. I can't wait!! Weeeee!!

I will be back with more posts. Of course, I don't quite know when that will be. Hopefully soon. And I promise the next post will bear lots and lots of pictures. Adios my darlings and have a fantastic 2012!! I love you lots!!


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sunday High Chases Away The Monday Blues

"Standard lah Akak... bila Selangor cuti, KL jam."

That's what the jockey dude told me yesterday when Hubby and I valet our car at the Bangsar Village 2 entrance. We were late for our Bodytone Acceleration Training, hence why we decided to valet. The roads were packed. Full of Selangor-ites taking advantage of their one day holiday by going into town. Of course, the town was also full of KL-ites (who were all not on holiday) going about their busy work routine. I swear, no one works in the office anymore, choosing instead to do their meetings and appointments outside of the office.

Hubby and I spent some quality time with the girls. We've been so busy with work lately, hubby especially, that we took this opportunity to bring the girls jalan-jalan... to KLCC! Goodness, the traffic we had to go through! But it was worth it

Earlier on during the day, before our Bodytone work out appointment, we went for a short drive to the convenience store nearby to grab some household stuff. Our male maid drove so Imaan sat on Daddy's lap and Tiara on mine.

Nash and I on the way to Bangsar Village 2. We were chatting about all sorts of stuff, as we always do. Five years into our marriage and we still have so much to talk about. Alhamdulillah.

Later during the day and after braving the horrendous traffic, we finally got ourselves to KLCC. Pheww! The girls were excited. Kaki jalan these girls. I wore a Topshop boob tude dress over jeans and tied a Zara scarf around my shoulders, which one side slid under the armpits after handling the girls, strollers, bags etc. Hilang glam terus! But oh well...

I dressed the girls in these cute little dresses that their Popo (my stepmom) bought for them on her Canada trip, and since malls can be quite cold, I normally don on their cardigans. The purple and pink tights were something I got for them from a baby shop in Bangsar Shopping Centre and for the life of me, I can't remember the name of the shop. Imaan has this lepak pose that I find hilarious. The girls love being on the stroller, always looking around curiously and excitedly.

Hubby was pushing the stroller in front of me and I had to take this picture. He caught on the skinny jeans craze and got himself a pair on his recent trip to Australia. I was a bit skeptical at first. My first thought was "Don't you have to be skinny to be able to pull that off?". But after studying him for a good five minutes, I decided he did it justice. Plus, I think his ass looks cute. Hehehe!

This was when we got home from KLCC. Tiara was already fast asleep and Imaan, being the active little baby that she is, insisted on a lil playtime. My sister Fiza, whom the girls will refer to as Mama Ja when they start talking, has this thing about dressing them up in the silliest things. In this case, it was their Daddy's hat that was put on Lil Imaan.

I love spending time with my beautiful family

Sazzy on IPhone

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

My Latest Craze(s)

Life has been hectic lately. If you have been following my twitter timeline, you probably have an idea on how busy and full my schedule has been, what with the weekly MyEG Xtra Time shoot, non-stop events, special appearances and emcee-ing gigs.

My beautiful baby girls have grown. Imaan and Tiara are almost 7 months now. How time flies! I have been religiously capturing their growth and discoveries with my iPhone camera. Of course i'll be sharing those pictures in this blog as I have done on Instagram.

As you all know, besides the love for my babies, work, food etc... I also have the love for fashion. So here I share some pictures of my latest craze.

I've been wearing a lot of stuff from lately. They have really nice casual but funky dresses and tops. I especially like this pleated dress. So much so that I also have it in deep pink . The one in the picture is in grey.

I bought these shoes quite a while back actually, way before I got pregnant. I love how it's so funky but because it's a nude colour, I'm able to wear it with almost anything I wear. Got these beauties from Aldo.

Here's me at MIFW (Malaysian International Fashion Week). As you can see, I'm wearing the Aldo gladiators. Its such a safe colour that it matches with any outfit. I got the top from JASPAL and the skirt used to belong to my Mama. She was quite a fashionista back then and her collection of clothes were amazing!

Another dress I got from I was out with the baby girls last weekend and felt like wearing something flowy and girly. So this was perfect.

Sazzy on IPhone

Monday, August 01, 2011

How I Will Always Remember Him

I lost my grandfather... My datuk is gone.. He left us last week on the 22nd of July at around 8pm. Words can't express how I feel and I suspect if I dared to go there, I will break down and do the ugly cry. The kind of cry which will have me sobbing my heart out, snot running down my face and me wailing and choking incessantly. So I've been keeping it at bay, my feelings, especially in front of everyone.

I miss him... I miss him everyday... And not a single day goes by when I don't think of him. This man has been a pivotal figure in my life. Being the eldest, I guess I always had that connection with him. I was his first grandchild, his first love. I have memories of him and I sweeping the porch way of his house in Ampang back when I was around 4 years old (well, him sweeping and me making a mess of course). Memories of him taking me out for a stroll in a mall or a restaurant for treats.

I have many beautiful memories of him, but one particular memory grabs me. It was back then in the late 90's when I was in high school. Datuk had always been proud of the fact that I followed his athletic streak. We both loved sports, be it running, skipping, badminton, football and such. So when I got selected to represent my school for long-distance track running - 400m, 4x400m and 800m, he was proud. I remember him coming to the stadium wearing his sports jacket and bearing drinks (my guess it was an energy drink). He had come to show his support. How happy was he that his granddaughter was running for interstate, that he had come all the way, by himself, to show his love and support from the sidelines. I cry when I think of this, I feel this huge lump forming in my throat and I want to break down each time I remember this.. but I don't.

My Datuk was a man of many words, often had things to say about almost every subject. He was also a reader, often reading books on religion, politics, history and the occasional fiction. He was intelligent, often quoting sentences or paragraphs from books he read (that used to impress me tremendously). He was a flirt, often pissing my Nenek off with his philandering eyes (eyes, only eyes!). He was obsessed about cleanliness, and was very house-proud. Often you would see him going around the Ampang house rearranging furniture, sweeping the floor and porch way, picking up rubbish from around the compound, and even went as far as clearing up the road outside the Ampang house. He was also a very fit man before he had his first heart-attack. I have vivid memories of him skipping rope on the porch way from since I was very young. Being the sports enthusiast like him, I would also play badminton with him in the evenings. He taught me how to "smash", the act of hitting your shuttle with power and speed downward to your opponent's court.

Of course there are many more memories of him.. like memories of him sitting in his usual chair in the Ampang house living room and having his smoke, maybe talking about politics, or sometimes talking just about anything. For some reason, my memory of Datuk is always of him in his infamous turquoise baju melayu. He always had that on. I can't quite recall why I seem to always remember him in that outfit. Maybe it was because of the outstanding colour...

Speaking of memories, I had recently gone back to the Ampang house to collect a few items from the kitchen in preparation for Raya ie baking trays, weighing scale, recipe books and such. Well in truth, it was my mom's maid that needed to pick those things up. So while Risda was busy cluttering around the kitchen searching for the items, I got busy looking through some old photo albums, hoping to find some long lost photos of Datuk and I back when I was a tot. Among the mountains of photo albums, here are the pictures that I managed to unearth. Some of it were also taken from my sister's blog :P

Handsome and stylish man he was...

Datuk was an ASP (Asisten Superintenden) but retired as a DSP (Deputy Superintenden) *if the spelling is wrong please blame it on my sister as this fact was also taken from her blog :P

Datuk and Mama, in the early 60's

Datuk and three kids - Mummy Zieda, Uncle Man and Mama

What a beautiful couple! I'm guessing they were in their early forties. They looked really good, didn't they?!

Now, I'm guessing this was when they were in the 20's ? Yes, they had dancing back then :P Let's do the twist, anyone?!

A dashing Datuk getting out of the car, and entering marriage.

The family back in 1981. Arwah Datuk, Nenek, Mama, Mummy Zieda, Uncle Man and Moksu. The baby would be me (first grandchild). I'm pretty sure my Papa was the cameraman.

And 26 years later! Look at how big the family had grown.

One of my very few pictures that I took of Arwah Datuk and me (and Nash). As his sickness deteriorated, I ceased the picture-taking, out of respect for him.

My beloved Arwah Datuk and I in Le Village Resort Kuantan.

This pic was taken before his first heart attack in 2006. I remember crying my way to the hospital to see him. It was the year I got married and we were all busy preparing for the wedding. I remember thinking "No Datuk , you are not leaving me when I need you at my wedding!"

Of course he survived... In fact, he survived a few more attacks. As the years went on and his sickness intensified, the family could only watch on helplessly and did what we could. There were many panicked trips to the hospital, bottles and sachets of medicine and pills prescribed and consumed, thousands of ringgit spent on consultation, oxygen tanks and hospital rooms. However, even though Datuk's health got worse and weaker, his spirit stayed strong. The countless amount of hospital trips and doctor's visit only reminded us to cherish all the extra time that we had with him.

Arwah Datuk finally passed on 5 years later... After years of battling heart and lung failure. I miss my Datuk so much but I was lucky to have him for 30 whole years. Thank you for giving me that extra time to be with my Datuk...